I don't know why I never tried this stuff as a kid.  I wasn't a very adventurous eater.  One time a friend's mom had made a batch of Baklava and offered me a piece.  I declined.  It sounded too exotic.  I was an idiot.

Years later, when we planned Greek for dinner night, I decided to make Baklava because, after reading the recipe, it didn't sound too bad.  Having never tried it before myself, I had no baseline to compare the result against.  I follow this recipe.  Thank you, Donna Townsend.  It's equally simple and fucking frustrating to make.  I thought I'd outline the process for you.

The mise:

I'm sorry, I need to explain.  The pan, back-middle, contains the melted butter that will be applied to the phyllo dough, front-middle, with the pastry brush, front-left, in the pan, front-right.  The chopped nuts, back-right, are sprinkled on after eight sheets of phyllo have been layered.  The beer, back-left, should be consumed instead of kicking the dog after your fifth sheet of dough has torn.

Buy whole nuts and chop them by hand with a knife.  Don't skimp on this step.  The irregularly chopped nuts go from large chunks down to an almost flour texture that lends iteself to the texture of the finished dish.  I think this helps bind the sheets together in the final product.

People are scared of phyllo dough.  They shouldn't be.  If you get scared of the dough, the dough will KILL you.  Instead, respect the dough.  Boxes of phyllo dough are like a box of chocolates.  You never know what you'll get.  Ideally, you have a stack of pristine, elastic sheets of impossibly thin dough.  What you'll usually find is that part of the stack is ripped making spreading the butter difficult.  Spreading the butter and managing the sheets of dough is the absolute most time-consuming part of the process.  If someone invented a device for the home cook that would keep butter melted, and apply it in spray form, they would simultaneously simplify the dish and take the fun out of making it.  The treatment of the dough and the application of butter simply takes practice.  Do it a few times, screw it up, then try again.

A couple thoughts about the butter.  First, I don't clarify the butter.  But melt the butter far enough that it separates.  If you don't it spreads too thick and you use too much.  Which brings me to my second thought.  Your goal is to use exactly two sticks of butter per pound of phyllo.  I used a whole pound of butter once because it spread too thick.  The butter didn't do its job of keeping the sheets of phyllo flaky.  Instead, the dish simply poached in all the butter.

After laying-up eight sheets of dough and spreading some nuts out, this is what things should look like:

Continue this process until you've used all the dough.  Before the assembly goes into the oven, cut the layers into whatever shape you prefer.  I've never been able to figure out the nifty triangle shapes you see in some restaurants.  I just cut them in squares because, after you eat them, they all come out in the same shape.  Am I right?  Eh?  The pan with the shapes half-way cut.

After the pan goes into the oven, start making the syrup.  The instructions are pretty straight-forward about this.  One thing I suggest you change.  Don't add the vanilla until after the mixture boils for twenty minutes.  Add it in ahead of time and some of that vanilla flavor boils off, I feel.  The finished product:

Hang in there, and this is a pretty rewarding dish.  The hard work is rewarded with a delicious dessert that transports well, stores uncovered and yields marrage proposals.

Arancini - Italian Fried Rice Balls.  Literally meaning Little Oranges in Sicilian, a handful of richly flavored rice surrounds a small pocket of meat and cheese that is breaded and fried until golden.  Hope was introduced to this delicious food item of happiness several years ago when a co-worker brought them in for a potluck.  She smuggled some home for me to try, and we soon decided we had to make them at home.

Surprisingly, the best recipe I found online originated from The Frugal Gourmet.  I adapted this recipe and have since used this faithfully over the years.  It's become a cult favorite among my friends.  Jesse boasts the dubious record of having eaten the most in one evening (3 and a half large-format balls...about the size of a baseball).  They're really terribly laborious to assemble, but well worth the effort.  No one will ever say, "Gee, it was a really bad idea to make those."  They reheat really well in the microwave too, surprisingly.

This dish is frequently referred to in cookbooks as an appetizer, but I almost always serve them as a main dish.  They're delicious with a side of marinara.  Ideally, they're assembled the night before, then fried and served hot the next day.  There are three main steps: Cook the rice, cook the filling, assemble and bread.  Let's break the recipe down by step.

Cook the rice
2 C Long-grain white rice
4 C Chicken broth
1 Stick Butter, Melted
1 Large Egg, Beaten
1/2 C Grated Parmesan Cheese
1/3 C Fresh Parsley, Chopped

Bring the broth to a boil in a large pot.  Add the rice, stir, reduce to medium-low, and cook covered for fifteen minutes.  Remove from heat and alllow to cool somewhat.  Mix in other ingredients, season to taste and set aside.

Cook the filling
1/4 C Lean Ground Pork
1/4 C Ground Sirloin
1/2 Onion, Small Dice
1 Clove Garlic
1/2 C Shredded Mozzarella

While the rice cooks, brown the Pork and Beef in a saute pan over medium heat.  Season, drain and set aside.  In the same pan, add 1T olive oil and saute onion and garlic until soft and the onion begins to take on some color.  Combine with ground meat and let cool.  Add mozzarella and set aside.

Assemble and bread
1 C Flour
3 Eggs, Beaten
Bread Crumbs

This part requires the most patience.  This is a typical three-step breading technique that can be applied to anything you want to give a crispy fried coating to.

Take a small amount of the rice mixture in the palm of your hand.  Hollow out a cavity in the middle and place some of the meat mixture inside.  Gently pull the sides of the rice around the meat until fully enclosed.  Roll the newly-formed ball in the flour first, then dip into the egg and finally coat with the bread crumbs.  At this point, I wash off the built-up gunk on my hands and repeat.  If this is your first time, you may want to drink at this point before proceeding.  This takes practice and time.

The recipe yielded about 11 rice balls.  If you make them larger, the recipe would probably yield 8 or 9.  You don't want to make your balls too big, or they won't be warm in the center.  No one likes balls that are tepid in the middle.  To finish, heat frying oil to 375°.  Carefully place in hot oil and fry until golden brown.

 Bailey lent a hand...er, a tongue...cleaning the floor.  This is unusual for him, although he didn't finish the job.